A Word to the President

So, Mr. President Anni, I can almost hear your testicles turn blue as they are squeezed by the very machine you created. Your administration must be scratching all available heads in search of a  solution to the problem of the apostate Mr. Mohamed Nazim.

On the one hand you cannot pull your head out of this one easily.

With Mr. Nazim you have one tough case of prisoner of conscience – one that will surely give you nightmares and the aforementioned tightening of the scrotum.

The world is watching intently, Mr. Anni. Oh how you must worry now.

You will be a lucky man if Mr. Nazim “repents” but if he doesn’t you have got a hell of a sticky situation. For the first time in history, the only democratically elected president, once a prisoner of conscience himself, may be forced to revoke the citizenship of a born Maldivian citizen for a thought crime. Surely, that is going to really brighten up your CV, Mr. Anni.

Your impatient and highly pretentious public will demand swift justice for, god forbid, someone has spoken their mind about religion. He must be stopped immediately before he completely destroys our country by invoking the wrath of God!

One solution I suggest is to pay off Mr. Nazim to leave the country and settle elsewhere temporarily. This way you can count on the short memories of your beloved citizens to forget and move on. And they will.

In no time they will be back at it doing the usual: sexually abusing their daughters, knifing each other, brewing moonshine, selling and using drugs, printing counterfeit money, making pleasure trips to neighbouring countries, engaging in fraud and corruption, money-laundering, terrorism, wife-beating, raping and gang-raping and praying in between those acts.

In fact, come to think of it, Mr. Nazim might be in for a better deal just for being honest. You can proclaim that at least you shipped out a prisoner of conscience for the two arriving from Gitmo.

Oh yes, the world is watching the mess you are in, Mr. Anni. It is about to find out the charade you are running here. The facade of “democracy” and freedoms you so proudly flaunt  is about to crumble and fall to reveal the intolerant beast within: the one that has been terrorizing your compatriots in a far worse state of repression than before.

The one that you have been hiding from the world.

The one that is going to bring “honor and prestige” to the country.

16 Responses to “A Word to the President”

  1. Zed says:

    what can i say? :)

  2. [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Hilath Rasheed, Simon Shareef. Simon Shareef said: I might have updated my blog. Not sure. http://bit.ly/9wG7t5 [...]

  3. arthur wellesley says:

    hahaha.. neat shit!! a bunch of self-righteous hypocrites we are… WE being the key term ofcourse..

  4. leo says:

    Can’t blame you for sounding so bitterly disappointed. Feel exactly like that myself.

  5. foakah fain errijje says:

    ahdhoiy!!!!

    true, true… and to think that just yesterday the President was talking of social protection and how the present govt is helping ppl save millions of rufiyaa through the social safety nets by spending money on old-age benefits, electricity subsidies, special allowances for vulnerable ppl (mostly women).
    of the latter, he may have to increase his allocation on the grandest scale in two-three years time, since the Govt itself is paving the way for alienating and isolating half of the Maldivian population, i.e. women.
    i see him and his cronies for what he is now, they are now…political animals, playing games with the people. anything for power.

  6. Pityou says:

    You voted and colorfully wrote on ur blog that that was the gift for your children. why so bitter now?!!! Glad you found a topic to write about again. soon you will be making him a hero cox u have identified your otherself to be similar to him.

  7. Ahura says:

    what a pitiful state Maldives is in

  8. shaafiee says:

    how does one who declares himself a non-muslim become an apostate? He did not refute the oneness of god. Just said he does not believe.

    How does a non-believer, who by delaring it has lost his citizenship, be held against his will under maldivian law? Why aren’t all the bangladheshis being scrutinized in a similar context?

    If this is the philosophy of us muslims are we not delivering the message of islam at the tip of a sword (as opposed to mr. Naik’s claims)?

  9. Hi,
    Mr. Saiman, i regret to inform you that i take no advice or words from a commoner. That is how this administration is run. We know what we are doing. Thank you for taking your time.

  10. Hull says:

    Solve this ! Mr. President

    a . 100 – (1+x) = 100

    b. Hinduism + x = Islam where x is an element of the following set of punctuation marks (, ; ‘ .”)
    (assume you went to the same int. school as Naik)

    c. based on Naik statement
    If Christ (pbuh) said “its not my will but my Father’s will” which of the following statement is true.
    i Christ has a Father
    ii Christ is not His Father
    iii Christ Father has a son

    now rate yourself : : go-back to school, smart , extra-smart, get Peace TV + FTV,

  11. Stewie says:

    oh dear! how i wish you were wrong!

  12. dee says:

    it is strange that i find some sick comfort in the fact that anni is now is now “f**kah fain erifa”….. dammed if he does anything about it dammed if he doesn’t…. sweeeet!!!

    why do i say this??? honestly you sir, mr.president have shown time and time again, that you lack the balls to take the real issues to heart… crime is on the rise, drugs are plentiful, rape, murder, gang violence etc as simon states….. supposedly the most liberal, revolutionary, modern president in the history of the maldives… you were supposed to be the one that changed the country….

    …well u did… but for the worse….even as the country is in a crazed state about one man and his beliefs… you have nothing to say… nothing to add… no comforting words.. no strong stand? i guess it works for you if the western world keeps calling you a champion of the environment…

    i guess with so few friends in the political arena… you have ur hands tied… the extremists are the only ones who’ll sleep with you!!! guess what? they will also not stick around with you.. they will also leave u when it suits them… and that’s gonna be the next election….

    oh.. and one more thing… i voted for you last time… i shall not make that mistake again… nor shall my friends, family and anyone else whom i can remotely influence, bribe or blackmail…

    and thanks simon… i really needed to vent…

  13. laila says:

    Mr. Simon, iknowitall, the ever smart, I can almost hear your fart finding difficult to come out as they are squeezed by another guy’s flesh, as you both rejoice the appearance of a silhouette of yourself.

  14. Real Muslim says:

    mr. president if you are reading this blog-

    please hand over islamic ministry or all religious matters to Dr. Hassan saeeds party. Adhalath is thaliban in suits. zakir naik is not a scholar and are good for entertaining and fooling the masses.- which is really dangourous. if they want to have discussions on such critical issues they should have broght real scholars who can have healthy discussions with the learned community, believers and non beleivers included and the debate could be televised. adhalath is paving way for intolerant fools like salaf and the like.. at this rate we will be taliban in southeast asia pretty soon. that sucks.

  15. Cuckoo says:

    *raises hand*
    errr… Mr. President, can I go too? 2 GITMO “innocent prisoners” for 2 “apostates” sounds fair to me :p

    To Naraka Fareed and co :
    We dont need to go to hell, we are already in hell!!!
    And btw, why wait to get to heaven to get those virgins, apparently pedophilia is allowed in your version of religion! You sick freaks!

  16. edwin says:

    Hull the riddler, i guess it didn’t take long for mr. president to solve it. lol! it was a piece of cake for him. wasn’t it? next time better luck.