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The Canned Maldivian

I found canned "Maldivian" and facts on the label read:

100% Muslim! No artificial or other faiths added.
Made of 99% hypocritical gray-matter - made from real concentrate!

Contains approx. 300,000 caps. Serving size: 1 (avg. 55kgs)

Ingredients
Awareness Chloride: 0.001mg (very low)
Cowardice HydroBromide: 98% (high)
Ignorance Carbonate: 95%
Credulity Dioxide: 85% (of total mass)
Religiosity Ethanol: Low (but may appear to be high - also depends on time and place)
Superstition Pepsin: Extreme (above 4kg)
Contradictory BiCarbonate: > 45%
Sarcasm threshold: Very low
Criticism threshold: Negligible
Kiss-ass Electrolyte level: High
Competency Lactin: Below average (< 50%)
Procrastination Hydroxide: 50kg (High)
Creativity thyroxine: Overall high
Loyalty pheromone: High on P type [P= president] (may appear to be otherwise - refer to hypocritical rating above)
Patriotism Sulphate: 30% (New or Unknown concept)
Indolence Pyridoxine HCL: 90% of weight (High)
Self-esteem Iodide: < 0.1IU Below Average (see Submission Dextorate)
Submission Citrate: High (Submits unconditionally to authority)
Accountability Palmitate: Negligible (< 0.01IU)
Responsibility Palmitate: Negligible (< 0.03IU)
Apathy BiSulphate: High. (Will forget major traumatic national events in few months)
Vitamin Ego: High (110%)
Promiscuity Bi-tart-rate:  Above average (> 60% weight)

WARNING: Always keep closed and away from hazardous enlightening material: may contaminate 100% Muslim rating. (Discard contaminated product promptly)

8 Comments

hehe good one...and so true...

Don't forget AMDC-Ispaghul: A little known adulterant that currently stands at 3.33%, and in present form confined to the backwaters of the Maldivian blogosphere.

There is no "expiration date" hmmmmmm ...heheh

a hilarious entry. yet a good insight to it.

Blogger nitrate 99%
Believe Im good at it acid 100%
Actual Goodblog Chloride 0.01%

Oooih..

again trying to prove how clever and intelligent you are eih..?

mate, if you're doing this via a blog, telling the internet world how smart you really are, with a "look at me, look at what I write, isn't it fantastic?" approach, rather than actually being out there in the open and proving yourself to the public, then its obvious you're just a sissy little pussy who can only pretend to be something that you're not, behind a screen, etc etc..

so stop pretending, just be yourself, its ok..

reality is you sound no better than most Maldivians..
in fact, from what you write here, you seem pretty mediocre haha..!

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