The Canned Maldivian
I found canned "Maldivian" and facts on the label read:
100% Muslim! No artificial or other faiths added.
Made of 99% hypocritical gray-matter - made from real concentrate!
Contains approx. 300,000 caps. Serving size: 1 (avg. 55kgs)
Awareness Chloride: 0.001mg (very low)
Cowardice HydroBromide: 98% (high)
Ignorance Carbonate: 95%
Credulity Dioxide: 85% (of total mass)
Religiosity Ethanol: Low (but may appear to be high - also depends on time and place)
Superstition Pepsin: Extreme (above 4kg)
Contradictory BiCarbonate: > 45%
Sarcasm threshold: Very low
Criticism threshold: Negligible
Kiss-ass Electrolyte level: High
Competency Lactin: Below average (< 50%)
Procrastination Hydroxide: 50kg (High)
Creativity thyroxine: Overall high
Loyalty pheromone: High on P type [P= president] (may appear to be otherwise - refer to hypocritical rating above)
Patriotism Sulphate: 30% (New or Unknown concept)
Indolence Pyridoxine HCL: 90% of weight (High)
Self-esteem Iodide: < 0.1IU Below Average (see Submission Dextorate)
Submission Citrate: High (Submits unconditionally to authority)
Accountability Palmitate: Negligible (< 0.01IU)
Responsibility Palmitate: Negligible (< 0.03IU)
Apathy BiSulphate: High. (Will forget major traumatic national events in few months)
Vitamin Ego: High (110%)
Promiscuity Bi-tart-rate: Above average (> 60% weight)
WARNING: Always keep closed and away from hazardous enlightening material: may contaminate 100% Muslim rating. (Discard contaminated product promptly)