Sex, giggles and the FM station
The licensed FM radio stations are now on air and in full operations. And in my opinion it would have been better had the government issued the licenses to bunches of giggling bimbos and airheads and have them read off from copy that makes absolutely no sense to them. Wait one damned giggling minute!
Whenever I mention that the new FM stations have much to be desired in the way of actual radio journalism and professional presentation I get the usual Maldivian style reply: "Give them a break...it has only been a few months since they started!". We can spend 30 years taking baby steps without much improvement so I am tackling the problem right now! I refuse to wait.
No, if I had a choice I would not give them a break. It is not like radio is a new medium in this country. Most of the current population were probably born to the sound of Baajaveri Hendhuneh on VOM. We certainly should expect professionalism and basic journalistic ethics from the new stations. Are we to expect them to dwell in infancy and then improve as if we've never had radio before?
The thing that really gets to me above anything else is the voice quality of the female presenters. Most of our Dhivehi women have squeaky voices that sound like rubber duckies forced down toilets. So when we have them on air they sound like rubber duckies forced down toilets recorded via a microphone. There is one female presenter on DhiFM that I thought had a unique voice - she sounds like a pre-pubescent boy. Please, ma'am, stop talking, you're uprooting the remaining hair on my body just by doing that!
And to make matters worse the content of the FM stations, especially Capital Radio, is such that actual content itself makes for about 10%. The remaining 90% is squeaky female voices giggling between every other word. Can I ask you something? Are they constantly on E?
To make matters worse still, the presenters display a lack of general knowledge that makes George W sound like the guy who wrote the Encyclopedia Brittanica. One female presenter on DhiFM was heard saying "O-he-oh". That's Ohio (O-Hai-O) for everyone else!
And did anyone notice how so full of sexual undertones and flirtatious vibes the call-in conversations are? I get the feeling that if the presenters are female, men call-in and want to have sex with them. If male presenters receive calls from females the presenters want to have sex with them, if possible, through thin air. Here's a sampling I just made up (but you could swear you heard it on Capital Radio):
Presenter: What are you doing? (Kee thi kuranee?)
Caller: Am stroking my cat. He's big.
Presenter: How big?
Caller: Pretty big. You want to stroke it?
To hear the gory details just turn on your FM station.
I have a theory for this kind of behaviour. And it is that we have absolutely nothing else to do. The call-in conversations are so damned boring even my radio switches to standby mode by itself. What is there to talk about when the most interesting thing that can happen during the course of day is the sight of Maldivian Air Taxi flying making the landing approach?
Oh, and please, if you are going to speak English with an accent at least get the pronunciation right. One presenter goes too far to be too cool to actually say "Sore, this is our last song for the night-ah". It's not "sore", it is "so". And what's with the "ah"? Oh I get it, all part of the sexually suggestive vocab.
So what's an honest to public station to do? I have a suggestion: force your studio staff to read more outside of the studio and listen to other radio stations. Perhaps then between the squeaky giggles and the "ahs" they'll at least sound credible.
nass | January 23, 2008 5:42 AM | Reply
I was actually quite happy when somebody told me it was possible to listen to those stations over the Internet. When I tried, first it sounded cool. It was good to hear people talking in Dhivehi for a change, BUT after about three days I just couldn't force myself to go through that TORTURE.
It's not just about the voices. It's the way they talk too. For an example, there was this programme where two guys played callers songs on their request. And each time a girl calls they talk like a bunch of flirts - ON AIR.
There's a lot of room for improvement.
maldiveshealth | January 23, 2008 6:53 AM | Reply
LOL.. good one mate.
numb | January 23, 2008 9:33 AM | Reply
Dude u been abused when u where young...and now u hate everything around u...please get some counseling...
kess | January 23, 2008 9:48 AM | Reply
Simon,
This particular problem is artificially caused by the lack of choices in the number of radio stations available in the Maldives. I’m sure that the giggling and the sexual undertones/subtext is appealing to some Maldivians, and I’m sure you would like your cat stroked some of the time. Therefore, it is all a matter of, when, it is appropriate for us, and how we make that choice. Because, we have a limited number of radio stations, they are forced to target their selections to the widest possible choice; the hormone charged teenager waiting for his cat to be stroked. Differentiation and a ‘better’ – in your opinion – choice would be available only with increased competition.
M | January 23, 2008 11:53 AM | Reply
underlying reason to give the licenses to these particular squeeky bunch is just a manifestation of government interest. anyways, who gives a damn about how things get pronounced? instead of "cat" the caller should have said "pussy cat"? giggle. :)
bulhaa | January 23, 2008 1:45 PM | Reply
so dont listen to it. *Shrug*
Ali | January 23, 2008 1:49 PM | Reply
Funny enough, I just logged onto one of the FM stations to catch up with local politics and thought why not just press "listen live" and have a go, Guess what? it took me about 10 seconds to figure out what language the presenter was yapping in. Seriously, no offence but her english accent was that unique.
In my opinion whatever language a presenter uses it has to be appealing to the majority of listening public.
Yes Simon you are Spot On.
aesha | January 23, 2008 7:07 PM | Reply
after sometime even i gave up listening to radio stations! specially DHIFM 95.2..i just could not take it!
blabber the same thing again and again and plus when they read articles they make so many mistakes!
they need to improve a lot
teenager | January 24, 2008 12:35 AM | Reply
amahyaai!! behifa nubeheyne eche ves nei dho. mihaaru ebunee dhivehi anhenunge adu ga massalaeh ulheneeyo. alhefahe kihaa reethi tha e adu thah. varah adu ahaalaahiy vey e adu thah aslu thedhah bunanyaa.
Blanche Neige | January 24, 2008 1:06 AM | Reply
hey normally i tend to agree with what you write...but in this case its difficult...even maldivian women have different types of voices.....some sound good on air others not. As for content..can't be helped if maldivian callers like to flirt on air..why don't you be part of the change......call up some station and talk something concrete...not all the girls on air are airheads.....am sure there are some who can have a decent conversation with you.
Granted a lot needs to be improved.....but hey its a start and its great to be able to listen to different stations atleast.
BurningSun | January 29, 2008 10:29 AM | Reply
Gee! Spot on target! Seriously... try this. You usually rub your fav pussy from the head to the tail. Try rubbing it the wrong way, i.e from tail to head, and then the kitty will actually start speaking like a Maldivian FM radio presenter.
bulhaa | February 4, 2008 12:04 PM | Reply
so yesterday, i found myself the halpless victim of dhifm radio.
and by god u were right
O.O
half the time i couldnt understand what the woman was saying wat with the rolling of the r's and the curving of the o's.
wat is this world coming to?
Bulhaa,
See, I told you so. :P
pencil | March 16, 2008 10:50 PM | Reply
simon, for a change , i agree with u 100% this time. great post!
gutterflower | March 23, 2008 8:42 PM | Reply
what can i say about local radio that hasn't been said before? I'll say it anyway. For months i thought the 'unique pre-pubescent voiced girl' was a guy with a bad nasal/throat infection! I tuned into radio a few times since that new station was launched but i found it unbearably embarassing and painful to listen to. Suffice to say, i do not listen to radio anymore.
MS | May 18, 2008 4:17 PM | Reply
good point, i've also been victim to 'this is the last song for the nigh-ah' and the accents! my god they are bad aren't they..? i haven't had much time to listen to the FM stations but the few times I've heard them, i don't understand half of what they are saying cos of their 'cool English'
vilion | May 21, 2008 1:41 AM | Reply
Now resorts in maldives have there own radio station.. soon its gonna be booming up like politicals parties here. every body need the voice aired..!!!
im | June 24, 2008 6:07 PM | Reply
i don't listen radio much but whenever i turn on i can hear what the writer has mentioned. it don't surprise me much as most of them are amateur home studios. one of my ex-colleague told me that one of his neighbor got the license and he became the a presenter/producer to them. he said many of his neighbors are making programs and presenting. he also asked us if anyone wants to present a show.
freak | August 19, 2008 7:11 AM | Reply
i have been listening to the radio for a while, and i notice the things that everyone is mentioning... but what i am surprised is, that this is maldives, what did u expect? u expected people to be professionally trained in this field...
does any of the people who work in the radio and present shows have any previous experience in this field. i am sure they dont. i believe they have the guts and ability to speak... even though they might be not speak as coherenet, they r still doing...
so if u want to improve any radio station, first thing i would believe they would need to do is train the presenters...
now the other thing i have noticed is, the complaint of women speakers. i am sorry to inform u, they r so many callers who want to speak to these women who r presenting the show... u expect people not to flirt, come on, it is human nature we r talking about... we, maldivians r flirtatious by nature... i have listened to every single radio channel, and everyone flirts... it is harmless flirting... what u expect, sex SELLS!!!
and the other thing, i also want to say is that it is happy to know that u all talk about this sort of stuff, cause radio stations need to be criticized, so they can improve. u should even call the radio station itself and tell them on air. that is something i do.
also the only way i read about this blog was through facebook, cause some idiot wanted to grab attention and created a stupid facebook group that states "capital radio sucks" which is operated by staff of hfm...
the only reason i can see about that is hfm needs the attention cause capital radio has a huge fan base... they even have their own private fan club, which is kinda amazing in a way. also please note in facebook, most groups that r based on capital radio have loads of members while hfm groups have a small amount of members...
ATTENTION SEEKERS!!!
matt | September 18, 2008 4:29 PM | Reply
i think their voice is ok but trying to be "more americans than americans"